Ever since I was little, I remember wanting to be a mom (and an astronaut, teacher and firefighter) more than anything in the world.
Not only did I want to be a mom, I wanted at least 4 kids, one set of twins (my present self just laughed out loud as I typed this). In all my role playing, being a mom seemed so glamorous, I would be able to teach my kids everything I know, and they would all be so eager and happy to learn, we would play for hours because they were all such good team players, never fight and enjoy each others company.
Whenever any of them cried, threw a tantrum or was having a rough day, my simple voice and a hug would be able to calm them down.
A couple of decades later my close friends started having children, and the job didn’t seem so glamorous. Their kids ate junk food and threw tantrums (not that I was scared, because my kids would never be allowed any of that nonsense) Fast forward a little more, and now I have 2 little ones of my own, a 4 year old boy and a 15 month old girl. After having my first, I remember thinking how could other moms have more than ONE child willingly? What in the world were they thinking? Nothing has changed my life, perspective and brain than having these little pumpkins in my life. Now I know that 2 is more than plenty, and luckily they are not twins. Below is a list of the 10 things I wish I knew before becoming a mom.
- Pregnancy is the easy part. As uncomfortable as having a baby kicking your inner organs and causing you to puke, the “fun” begins after the little muffin comes out. If I though needing to pee every 10 minutes is inconvenient, how about needing to pee, but after an hour of fussing your baby finally fell asleep ON TOP OF YOU… Breathe to hard and he’ll be up again!
- You learn true love. Once you hold your baby (it doesn’t happen necessarily at the first moment) you feel what true love is. Not in the first boyfriend “true love” it is a feeling that encompasses your entire body, flows through your veins and makes your heart bigger.
- People will judge you no matter what you do. It really doesn’t matter if you breastfeed, formula feed, baby wear with a crotch dangler, co-sleep, sleep train, send them to baby swim survival lessons, or let them play with the dogs drinking fountain at the park. People will judge, belittle you, and sometimes even try to offend you, sometimes it will be moms and sometimes it will be members of your husbands family who don’t even have kids. So you need to base your decisions based on what you think is best for your family and your kids. Time for your skin to get thick.
- Everybody will try to give you advice. Still don’t understand why the second you get pregnant; it is like people have the right to come up to you and give you “life saving advice”. I got told once by a childless bank teller to let my son sleep in his car seat at night., he promised he would sleep through the night. Follow your gut, and your instincts; you know more than you think you do. If you ever need advice, ask somebody you trust and pretend people who you do not trust (or bank tellers and cashiers at Target) are only moving their mouths when they do.
- Parenthood is not what we see in TV shows or Facebook feeds. Some days parenthood will suck. We will not have control of these little fuckers, they have minds and personalities of their own, they will throw tantrums, they will get sick, they will not want to learn what you feel like teaching them, or they will have different needs than what you anticipated. Luckily you get to start “fresh” tomorrow.
- Everything is a stage. Just like in life, so if things suck for you because your toddler is still not sleeping through the night, it is a stage and it will pass. Just like if your threenager is being super good with doing their chores… that will also pass.
- Kids smiles and laughter are underrated and will make your melt a little in the inside.